


Catch Me (I'm Falling)

by kilgraves



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hugs and Cuddles, Hurt/Comfort, I just have a lot of feelings and I'm pretty sure this sucks but it's scisaac so w/e, JUST A LOT OF FEELS BECAUSE MOTEL CALIFORNIA HURT REALLY BAD OK, M/M, Post-3x06, References to Child Abuse, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 07:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/877406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kilgraves/pseuds/kilgraves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac knows that when people are put through an ordeal like the one they've just experienced, you don't jump on them about it too soon. You give it time.<br/>But he needs Scott to talk to him, he needs to understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch Me (I'm Falling)

**Author's Note:**

> MOTEL CALIFORNIA HURT SO BAD HOLY FUCK. I was blown away, I thought the episode was incredible. Daniel and Dylan were especially amazing, but I loved how every character got showcased.  
> Anyway, I wanted to write post-3x06 Scisaac, so that's what I did. It's angsty, but what did you expect after an episode like that?

When it’s all over, and they’re home, Isaac tries to keep to himself, he really does.

He doesn’t want to bother Scott, doesn’t want to make it worse by bringing up the motel and all that they went through. He doesn’t want to ruin things more than they’ve already been ruined, because even though Isaac is trusting, he isn’t stupid. He’s smart enough to know that when people are put through an ordeal like the one they’ve just experienced, you don’t jump on them about it too soon.

You wait.

You give it time.

But Isaac doesn’t _want_ to give it time. He doesn’t want to lay off, because he’s hurting – he’s hurting so fucking bad – and he knows that Scott is, too. He knows something awful happened after Stiles got him out from under the bed with the flare. He remembers the way he and Lydia had sprinted from the room, hushed whispers of _where’s Scott_ and _gotta find Scott_ just barely audible as they left him alone again. He remembers the paralyzing fear that came with knowing that Scott was in trouble, but his legs wouldn’t move, wouldn’t let Isaac follow them to find him.

His alpha, _his Scott_.

He’s still on edge. If he closes his eyes, he can hear his father’s voice – but that’s nothing new. He’s always able to hear him; it’s just more… intense than usual. The wolfsbane heightened it, everything, and Isaac doesn’t know how to turn it off this time. He can’t seem to find quiet, can’t make it stop, no matter how many times he counts to thirty. It gets to the point where he can’t take it anymore – he can’t leave Scott alone, he _has_ to talk to him.

The entire walk down the hall to Scott’s bedroom, Isaac’s heart pounds – like it’s going to beat straight out of his chest. Upon reaching the door, he peeks his head into the room, and takes a deep breath when he sees the omega sitting on the edge of his bed, staring down at the floor. Isaac doesn’t know how to approach him, because on the one hand, he doesn’t want to freak him out, but he also wants – _needs_ – to talk with him about all that's happened.

He clears his throat, but Scott doesn’t move a muscle.

“Scott?”

No response.

“You okay?”

Not a word.

“Can we, uh… C-Can we talk?”

Nothing.

“Scott?”

When the shorter boy still doesn’t move or reply, Isaac sighs. He understands why Scott is acting this way – oh _god_ , does he understand – but he needs him right now. As selfish as it is, he needs Scott to talk to him.

He needs his anchor, just for(ever) a few minutes.

Blinking warily, he moves forward, willing his legs to take him where he’s trying to go. Scott doesn’t look at him when he sits down beside him, just stares down at the ground underneath his feet – like if he stares long enough, it’ll open up and swallow him whole. There’s a long silence, in which Isaac tries to work out what to say, and Scott breathes, quietly and rhythmically.

It’s strange, because usually it’s Isaac who needs Scott’s help, not the other way around. Isaac has always been the one who has nightmares, who has panic attacks and flashbacks that make him wake up crying, sweating, and reaching out, calling for Scott. He’s never seen Scott like this, not _really_. He knows that he’s feeling guilt over what happened to Derek, but he hadn’t gotten to talk to him about that prior to the motel. All he wants to do is take him in his arms, bury his nose in his hair, breathe in his scent, and let him know that none of what has happened is his fault.

But for now, he’ll just have to settle with talking.

“Scott?” He asks again, voice soft and weaker than he intended it to sound. He isn’t sure whether he expects Scott to respond or not, but he doesn’t, so Isaac plows on, stumbling over his words, “I, uh… I guess I just kind of need you to talk to me. Not even that – I just need you to be _here_ , with me, right now, because I’m scared and I want to help you. I want to be here for _you_ , because you’re always here for me, always, and it’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying. I want to say the right things. I want to be able to say exactly what you need to hear, you always seem to do that for me.”

He turns to look at the silent boy, who is staring at the wall across from them now, lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling slowly. Before Isaac can stop himself, he’s reaching out to take Scott’s hand in his own, squeezing gently. Even though Scott still doesn’t speak, he knows he appreciates the gesture. He knows, because it’s _Scott_ , and Isaac loves him.

“Back at the motel, I was completely alone in my room. I started hearing noises, and I-I thought it was you or Boyd – but then, I could hear my dad’s voice… It was so _real_ , like he was standing right in front of me, like I was back home, in the basement.” The beta breaks off, trying to clear his throat, to stay strong – because he has to keep it together, for Scott and for himself. He feels Scott squeeze his hand, barely but enough so that Isaac feels stronger because of it, “I know it was all in my head, but it felt like it was happening all over again. I felt like I was in the freezer, like I couldn’t breathe or think or s-see. It was like a panic attack, only ten times worse. When Lydia and Stiles found me, I was hiding under the bed, but I didn’t know what was happening. And then they were running out, talking about how they had to find you, had to get to you, fast, and I… I was so scared. Not for me, but for _you_. I wanted to help you, I wanted to _save_ you.” Scott looks at him now, his eyes full of sympathy, and Isaac gives him a shaky smile. “By the time I got outside, all of you were getting on the bus, and I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t want to upset anyone, especially you. I kept quiet the whole ride home, and I stayed quiet all night, but I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to. I love you. I love you so, so much, you know that – or you should, anyway – and I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything because that’s how I feel about you and I don’t want you to think that you’re alone or that I’m going to judge you because I would never–,”

“ _Isaac_ ,” his voice is hoarse, strained, but strong nonetheless, and Isaac has never been so happy to hear it in his life. “It’s okay, I’m okay.”

“Are you?”

Scott opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it again, before shaking his head. Isaac understands; when he was younger, and his dad would hit him, or yell, he would tell himself he was all right even though he obviously wasn’t. It made things easier for him at the time. Scott is the type of person who will lie through his teeth – saying he’s _absolutely fine_ and _don’t worry_ – when in reality, he’s breaking inside.

“You can tell me,” Isaac murmurs, running his thumb over the back of Scott’s hand, “Whatever it is that happened, you can tell me. But if you don’t want to–,”

“It’s not that,” he shakes his head, a pained expression on his face, “It’s bad, Isaac. It’s _really_ bad, and I want to talk to you, because you make everything so much better – but I…”

The taller boy nods, reaching to cup Scott’s cheek in the palm of his hand, “It’s all right, you don’t have to say anything. You can forget I even mentioned it.”

Scott stares at him for a few seconds, eyes dark and severe. Isaac can smell the guilt on him, the hidden anguish that Scott thinks he does a good job of hiding on a daily basis.

“I want to talk about it,” he finally replies, and Isaac knows that what he really means is that he _needs_ to.

“Are you sure?” Isaac asks, because he has to make sure.

When Scott nods, the beta sits back and waits for him to speak next, still holding his hand tightly. Scott’s eyebrows are furrowed, like he’s trying hard to think of what to say, like he doesn’t know where to start.

“I don’t remember much of this, but according to Allison, I tried to... touch her,” Isaac tenses at these words, but Scott shakes his head, “I didn’t know what I was doing – she was in the shower and I just walked in and started saying all this stuff about fixing our relationship and trying to… I don’t even know. It was like I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t in control.”

Scott looks disgusted with himself, and Isaac leans in to whisper, “It’s okay, you didn’t do anything to her, she stopped you. Do you want to keep talking about this?”

The shorter boy looks agonized, but nods, slowly, and Isaac listens as he continues: “I started seeing shit after that. My phone rang, and when I answered it, it was my mom – but… Deucalion had her. I looked out of the window in our room and he was holding her, his claws at her neck. I watched him slash her throat, I watched her _die_ – but it wasn’t real. It just… it _felt_ so… It was my fault.” Isaac opens his mouth to tell him that’s not true, but Scott keeps going, and his words start to slip out in a whirlwind, “Everything felt pointless, like there was nothing I could do anymore. Derek’s dead, and it’s my fault. Everyone I love is in danger, and it’s _my_ fault. I can’t stop it. I can’t stop the alphas, or the darach. I can’t do a thing. I just gave up, and I figured the only way I could spare everyone from getting killed was to take myself out of the equation. I had it all ready, gasoline everywhere, the flare in my hand, but Stiles, Allison and Lydia found me. Stiles, he, uh… talked me down, told me I was his brother, that he _needed_ me, that if I was going to do this, I’d have to take him with me, and I… I couldn't…”

He’s cut off when his voice breaks, and Isaac doesn’t hesitate for a second; pulling him forward, wrapping his arms around his middle. Scott doesn’t cry, doesn’t shake or moan or sob, but he does bury his face in the crook of Isaac’s neck, clinging to the beta with weak hands.

“Scott, none of this is your fault,” Isaac whispers, threading his fingers through the shorter boy’s hair, “You’re doing all that you can, you’re putting your life on the line every single day to protect the people around you. Taking yourself away from us wouldn’t solve anything – it would only make things worse.”

“It didn’t feel like it mattered,” Scott breathes, muffled against Isaac’s skin, “I was weak and stupid and the wolfsbane made everything more intense and I just–,”

“I know.”

For a few moments, they stay like that, holding onto each other like they’re all that’s left in the world. Isaac listens to Scott’s steady heartbeat, and Scott noses at Isaac’s throat, breathing in his scent.

And then, Isaac murmurs, “Are you okay? Honestly.”

Scott sighs, but nods, “I think so, yeah. I just wish I could stop all of this. I wish every second could be as easy as it is when I’m with you.”

“You’re such a sap,” Isaac teases, leaning in to press his lips to Scott’s gently.

“Are _you_ okay?” He asks, pulling away to watch Isaac’s face when he answers, “What happened to you… I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hate how hard it is for you.”

The beta shrugs warily, because he doesn’t want Scott to worry about him, “I’ll be fine, it wasn’t anything I haven’t felt before. I think the main reason why it was so tough was because you weren’t with me. I’ve gotten so used to having you around whenever I have a nightmare or a panic attack.”

Scott smiles, pressing his forehead to Isaac’s, “Well, I think it’s fair to say that I will never go near a motel again. Like, for the rest of my life.”

Isaac laughs. And, even though he knows this isn’t over – Scott is still hurting and so is he – it’s all right, for now.

As long as he has Scott, it’ll always be okay.


End file.
